11/17, 1991-2010

I am probably beating a dead horse now reflecting on my band, but now putting the eulogy together for the last 19 years of an on and off band that has seen me through a good chunk of my life. And Good, I mean good. Some of the best times surrounded this band, in fact sometimes this band is what carried me through some rough patches of my life.

11/17 started out as in Vacaville, Ca. as Retarded Children in Agony, much to the dislike of the original members James Morris and Rob Suprian, the band changed the name to 11/17 (skeletal hand flipping the obscene bird gesture... another story I am done telling)before our first show and Mansion Cellars in Davis, Ca. with Jeff Reed on Bass. A KDVS benefit with the band Fifteen and a handful of others. We were billed as Retarded Children in Agony, but we corrected it though to deaf ears. We were not really well received. The lyrics ranged from personal (Love Lays where horror lies), to religious (Fuck Religion), to political/economical (Time has come), to the obscene (Fucking Uncle Sam on a Burning Flag and a cover of Bloody Mess and Hate's Spit on my Face"). It wasn't until I moved back from a short stay in Las Vegas, to meet up with the longest running and more influential band members, Jude Croxford, James Meloy, and Joel Krueger, that 11/17 started to focus more on the songs being more or less from an personally emotional point of view. We did a few shows, which I am glad to include a couple at the now defunct Cattle Club as well as a going away party for a friend of ours, Karen Runta. Our first show together though was a "company picnic" at Valley Records. The company Picnic was an all day event of all the bands that had members working at Valley at the time. Phibes Infernal Machine, Floss, Dead Man Plaid, Transpo-Mutilation, Punch the Clown. Kepi from the Groovie Ghoulies worked there, but I don't think they played... I may be mistaken. In 1993-ish we took a break, never broke up, just didn't pursue it as hard until I moved back to California in 1999.

This incarnation of 11/17 included a great old friend of the band, W.H. Lipelt on second vocals. Where we played up until early 2003 when I moved to Vacavile and was eventually out of the area too much to keep it going, then moved to Illinois where it dissolved from there. I was happy to have gotten to play with SammyTown of Fang, his band The Resistoleros also Agression, now a super group made up of old original Agression members and other Nardcore bands, and fronted by the singer from Skadaddys.

When moving back to Illinois, I met a friend who happened to be a guitarist. I expressed an interest in playing again and he/Chris jumped on board. We recruited the bass player from Nard Voris, Brian and drummer from Drowned in Echo, Devon. We possibly played more shows in the year we were together in the Illinois incarnation than the combined California incarnation, opening for bands such as Off With Their Heads and Witchhunt. On January 30, 2010. I decided to have the band's last show at what was billed as Mates Fest, an all day show consisting mostly of local punk bands and local Peoria friends.
Why the end: I was to wrapped up in the lyrics that no one heard and felt it was time to let the baggage go that the songs were written about. Too much time spent on rehashing old bitter memories in the songs. Also, I was getting angry that the aggressive part of the music was the draw and not the intention behind the songs in the first place. 11/17 will always be looked back at with great fondness, the songs, the times the band existed in, and of course each and ever band member that made up this project.

What's Next?: I don't know. I know I will continue to do music, maybe more as the guitarist than vocalist, maybe here in Peoria, maybe back in California... At 40 years old, I feel creatively restless, but far less aggro. Maybe Folk Deathrock, maybe Minimalistic Doom/Drone... Maybe its photography and bar stories, and out of music altogether... Nah, I will always make music, another 20 years of music no one will hear or get... I can deal with that. Just have to let the past 19 years get the deserved rest it needs. Rest in Peace 11/17, you've accomplished what you could.

December 24th, year of our lord, 2009

I have not written much, really have not had a lot on my mind other than waiting for 2009 to fucking end. As far as a year in one's life, its not been a bad year in the sence that I have had school to keep me going... Other than that, with minimal high points: the occasional 11/17 show, finally hanging out with my friend Lisa, watching my friend Ted get married, and on occasion hanging with a friend or two and watching my friends' daughter evolve more into a human... 2009 has really been a shit year. I look forward to 2010 merely on principal.

2010 will bring the close of 11/17, the band with many members that has been in one form or existance or another since 1991. With some sadness, I will end it... But it also closes the chapters of my life that the band covered and got me through. Nobody ever got the lyrics anyway and I gave them too much power, too much power over me. Kind of pretentious I know, but its what I know. And now what I know is that it is time to end 11/17.

In a round about way, just like last years epiphinies, this year kind of gave me a lot of sense of closure. In what I learned at the turn of the last year was that my constant moving was due to me running from and not running to anything... Now, with the inevetible loss of my house to foreclosure, lack of employment oportunities in this area, I realize I came out here to shut the Peoria chapter of my life for good. There is nothing but struggle here, and with this struggle, I have seen what character I am made of. And With all of this, a roller coaster that it was, I didn't let it get to me.... Well I didn't let it destroy me. It has, in surging waves, brought me to my knees in anger and depression, but I was alble to shake it off well enough. It has shown me how little I need to be content. I don't need big cities with fuck tons to do. Just need books, music, and movies. That is it. I am content. I have aged well in the past year.

But does bring me to another scary thought... I will be 40 in less than 3 weeks... And at 40, I am no closer to settling down any more than I was at any point in my life. and other than school, I am no closer to going in any direction but in circles. If I looked around at people my age, they all have actual careers, families of their own... Me I am broke, alone, and only have ambitions to show for my 40 years on this planet. In other words I have got shit to show what I have been doing all this time. Collecting experiences at best. Most of them in the fucking up department.

Which brings me to January 30th, the last show of 11/17... I am using that as step one, to give up drinking and then get my ass focused on gearing up to get my Bachelors in Psychology. I will more than likely start looking at going back to California. Not to continue the same old habits I carry with me everywhere I go, but to continue to focus on school and hopefully find a job there so I can start to get my shit together. Getting my shit together is now a priority in my life... Well knowing that I need to make it a priority, and everyone uses New years and they usually fail... So I am using the ending of 11/17 as that catalyst. So many plans to go to a real college fell through, but will probably just continue through shortbus college, and hopefully find an employer as well as a Masters program that recognizes University of Phoenix... To those considering University of Phoenix... DO NOT! It works for me, because I could not go to junior college and get unemployment at the same time. And like I said, at least this year off, I just didn't sit on my ass, I have almost all of my Associates knocked out. Trying to get through Algebra is the mother fucker! But I will get through it, even if by the skin of my teeth, I will get through Algebra 1 and 2.

I am starting to see that I need to embrace my age. Not the old, "I'm old" bullshit... But realize I am 40 and start getting my ass in gear. I may have 25 years left on my life battery, I need to stop wasting it. There are places I wanna be and see... and more so, I wanna spend the last of my years in a closer proximity to the ocean. I want to be that wierd dude doing Tai Chi by a large body of water at 6am, and I wanna get on with getting older. Because you know what, the more I think about it, I am kind of happy about turning 40. I can stop doing stupid shit with the excuse, "I am 40, I don't need to be doing that stupid shit". My whole life has been the midlife crisis... I wanna get past it and finally start acting my god damn age.

So yeah, 2009 has been a continued holding pattern of my life as its been thus far, more struggle and less bliss... But 2010... I finally get to get my ass moving in the right direction. Onward and upward. or at least forward. I have to!

10.15.09 the aftermath

Last night was the first 11/17 show in almost 6 months. I was excited to do it because, as Jude first pointed out, I need a band.... and I do. I have to find some means to getting the shit out of my head... What started out as cigarette burnings of my skin, like a cutter cuts, to cope with things going on in my head and in life that I had never learned how to properly cope with, the band works in exactly the same way. From cigarette burns, to "poetry", to 11/17, it is a coping mechanism more than anything else. That said, there are times I wanna give it up. Times like last night help that notion settle in even more. I won't hang it up, not yet anyways, but excitement turned to disappointment within our short 20 minute set.

I was stoked, first to play, and second to play this house party was, to me, very symbolic. The Peoria scene is known for its hard divide within the punk and alt rock culture. Last night I saw a sign that one side was reaching out to the other side to build a bridge that has kept the scene separated for so long. Its not ego that divides us, more like just a matter of who associates with who, and their loyalties. All fine and good. I also see it as one side is more laid back and social who casually drinks, sometimes to excess and the other side is always in pursuit of drunkenness as priority one, socializing second, and rules of the house don't apply to those that are drunk and hanging with their mates. To group one, this may seem as if the group is an unruly disrespectful lot, to the ones in the second group, the drunken class, the first group may be seen as pretentious. I dislike the associated characteristic labeling, as I belong to group two, and we have our own issues with our own levels of pretentiousness... and I especially dislike the division of the scenes because of this. I have to state that I would like to see that division between the two erased. And that is what I saw as potential last night. Maybe I put too much stock in unity, but that is who I am, it is what I believe in. The town of Peoria, along with the other surrounding towns, is far too small for this scene to be THIS divided. I agree with drunkenness, sometimes to the point of sloppiness, but not to the point where it destroys opportunities for places to play. Because first and foremost, the punk and alt rock scene is about expression (and art to some degree). When we are divided, expression is limited.

When Disorder33 played the Red Barn, I thought that a big step in the blurring of lines between the scenes. When we were asked to play at the No Fun House, I saw it as a full tear down of that line, uniting with "the other side", not as a member of group one, but as a reaching across the aisle to the other side, a breaking of bread, a symbolic step that group one is just as tired of the divide as group two... Again, maybe I am reading far too much into it, thus my severe disappointment in the behaviour of group two. More so, a person who I have never seen at ANY shows who came with one of my mates.

Where am I heading with this diatribe... Well as stated in the first part, 11/17 is a personal vehicle of expressing myself and the emotions that I still battle with. I have to state that when playing, I like to pace and move during the set due to stage fright and to keep personal space for myself, and as it was later pointed out by the guy just previously mentioned, after the "incident" we talked and he stated that if I have this fear and I don't like people up in my face while playing the music style we play... maybe I shouldn't be doing it. I started having flashing thoughts about pioneers of the scene, Ian MacKAye as well as a personal music mentor, Henry Rollins, when at shows they start telling the audience to calm down, to not do shit that may fuck up the enjoyment that others may be having. Fighting, dancing where others are not into dancing, getting in faces, etc. In the 18 years I have been doing this, I have never had this happen to me, having a member of the "audience" get in my face and taunt me as a form of expressing the enjoyment of the music. I can see, getting up and singing along with the band, embracing the band members while singing along, but never getting in any of our faces. I have seen old school footage of this behaviour going down, and it usually results in violence. Which last night sort of did. I kept shoving the guy back... he kept coming forward, I told him to simmer, and it only seemed to instigate the situation. I stopped singing at one point to go at him, only to find this is the energy he wanted... And I felt it disrespectful, not as much to myself but to the hole unification process I felt going down... After our set, and in heated discussion of how I felt his behaviour was inappropriate, I was told my attitude would prevent me from developing any fans... in which I retorted, "I don't want fans"... and I don't. I am not in this band to make a life of it, it is my art... it is my expression. it is the only way I know how to express myself. I don't like talking to people, telling them of my personal woes and other assorted blues bullshit, so I do it in the form of "poetry" set to aggressive music.

Tom Satterfield gave my band the most flattering classification, hardcore/punk/beat poetry. We maybe of a scene divided, but he gets it. I took it as an endearing compliment... because he gets it. I also took his invitation of 11/17 as an honor and as an honorable act on his part to try and unite this house divided. The fact that we played a less than perfect show (one practice in 6 months will have that affect), but the actions of this one person is what really bummed me out, because he is in the group I associate with (even though I have NEVER seen him at any shows), and he didn't get it. I also saw that as detrimental to the unifying efforts put in motion by Tom and disrespectful to host and venue where we were invited to play.

So I guess as my mantra now, I join Ian and Hank in saying, when we play, if you enjoy the music we play, then enjoy it, but also remember there are others who may be enjoying it as well... Don't do shit that prohibits those others from fully enjoying the set. I am not saying hug one another and jack each other off... I am saying just stay the fuck out of everyone's face.


A hard lesson learned I suppose. I was the same way some time ago. Apologies go out to Jude and his old band Girth. I get it now. Now going forward, This mantra is in effect. Apologies also to Tom, did not intend to be disrespectful. Boys will be boys I suppose... but Boys are stupid.

end bullshit rant

Ramblings of reminiscence; Sixteen years and counting.

Sitting listening to the Groovie Ghoulies, and looking at pictures of old friends and where they are in life now. Most have families, in fact I think I am almost the last one without, Dawn B. is the only other I can think of. There is sort of a somber feeling as well as one of warmth that trade off in me. It is nice to see the ones who use to be so fucked up, settled into new lives, sober. Hell they have traded in their appearances from that which I remember them and are now resembling what dads are too look like, some look like the liberal college professors in movies: glasses, long hair pulled back, dressed if hanging out at a MargaritaVille somewhere... They all look healthy, happy... Like life is treating them with kindness.

The somber mindset is that they are now very foreign to me. It is a world I do not know, nor will I ever know. It is not the road for me to take. Even when I hang out with friends with kids, it is still me hanging out with, it is not my life, it is theirs... I'm just visiting. I don't know if I would trade in this life for one similar to theirs (nor do I have the ability to do so if I thought otherwise), but there is now a growing loneliness that comes with it. Not because I don't see them, but my sort of life and the wisdom they have gained because of the lives they have acquired puts forth paths for us that wander further apart. Even talks of "when you get back out here..." etc. are all nice sentiments but even I know their lives and mine are foreign to one another now. Old friends remain very dear to me, but now it is only in the form of the occasional family outings, no more nights of the wandering home from the bar at 2am staggering after watching bands all night. New friends, well I just can't connect with because of their youth and the fact my body can't handle the abuse I use to put it through some 15 years ago... Where they are at in life now. Ah, the acknowledgement of my age. Socially I feel more alien than embraced. It is not a depressive feeling as much as it is that feeling of the truth that settles in when one gains wisdom of themselves.

Been a long time

Life is rolling on, not too much to report or anything that I feel like talking about anymore. Today, just feeling the contentment of being home. More tired and hungry as if I had been camping than helping a friend get moved to her new place of residence where she will be attending school. I feel after this weekend, I need to look around and evaluate what I need to do here and start getting focused on where I need to be one year from now... Physically and mentally. I will be done with Short Bus University at the end of May with full intention to go on to a regular 4 year college to get my undergrad knocked out. I am looking at Eureka College and Illinois State University here in Illinois and looking at a couple of colleges back in California (UC Davis and Sac State). My decision to where I want to go to school will be based on a few things, first and foremost, what credits will transfer to a 4 year college from Phoenix, and also where I need to live 6 months prior to where I will go to school. Also what kind of assistance, grants, loans, etc. I can get to attend school and go full time, meaning not working on anything but school.

I also need to look into Grad schools as well as the Peace Corps, and hopefully how I can do the Peace Corps and obtain my Masters simultaneously. My intention is to stop at Masters degree and get a job in family counseling, whether I try and shoot for a Ph.D. will be based on where I am at in job and life. I don't have plans of yet to follow through (and lack the desire to as well), but I am not going to use words like "never". Never is too limiting. I have heard those words and personally use them far too much as it is. "Age is nothing but a number" but it is a sand glass that does run out eventually. As it sits, with my current goal, at the earliest I will have my Masters Degree in approximately 7 years from this moment.

I will be 46 or 47 years OLD.


My advice to you whipersnappers out there, don't listen to your parents when the try and hurry you up to get a job so they can get you out of their house. GO TO SCHOOL! When they try and tell you that you should be learning a real trade, like welding... Defy them, get an actual degree. When your parents are more proud of you getting a warehouse job than when you get an A in college or are more proud of that job than when you wind up on a Dean's List because you had a GPA of 3.75, really piss them off, keep your grades up, and get an even higher degree.
Don't let your parents failures be hereditary! Be punk rock and get an education!!!

The world needs ditch diggers... but you don't have to be one of them.

Frank Zappa Lost Interviews as well as how he prefered the Rolling Stones over the Beatles

309DIY@gmail.com

So... Remember the blog I wrote last night about not doing the 'zine... Well scratch that one... It is happening. So today's blog is a plea: Anyone know of ANY local shows between June 11th through the middle of July, please get me that info AS SOON AS POSSIBLE as we are doing a local entertainment 'zine. First issue is going out on the 11 of this month... So any shows in the time frame of the first issue of the 'zine (6.11.09-7.16.09) please let me know... Peoria and Bloomington areas.

email to: 309DIY@gmail.com

and for future issue content:
Future Content Submissions:
Live Music Shows & Reviews, Music Reviews, Movie Reviews, “What I miss from my youth”, Short Stories, Opinions, Poetry, Art and Cover Art (remember it's B&W peoples!) As this grows, we'll be able to fit more content.
Contact: 309diy@gmail.com

Anything sent to us we will not send back
(you keep the rights, but we keep the goods).

6.2.09

The discussion came up today of getting called out on procrastinating on getting a project done that you agreed to do. I try not to fall victim to doing that, I like to think that I am a person of my word, but... Sometimes ideas get tossed around and sound really good, there is full intention to complete it but sometimes it is not completely possible at the time, or can be done in the foreseeable future. I am talking about the zine idea I had talked about a year and some change ago and also resurfaced about a month ago. I think it is still a great idea, hope to do it in the future... but at this time the cost portion is not in my capabilities. So that new zine idea is on hold (not scrapped, just on hold). I think it is human nature to do so, say you will do one thing, have full intention of going through with it, but for one reason or another the plan falls short.

Hell, politicians make a career of it.

All things in their time. But until then, remember...
The Devil's got your nose

June 1st Blog

So as I set out to try and blog nightly about whatever crosses my mind, I got nothing really. I could talk about the murder of George Tiller, the abortion doctor... I could say that as a Catholic, I still believe that abortion is a woman's choice. I could say that though I do not like the thought of late term abortion which Dr. Tiller was legally allowed to do, in the case of mother's health and safety... If abortion is the only hope then abortion is necessary.

Or I could make mention that the Political Right is jumping all over the president for going on a date with his wife when their president was notorious for vacationing... over 400 days (yes equaling over a year's time on vacation).


Or I could discuss the GM bankruptcy, and how the loss of jobs tied to that will have a ripple effect (tire manufactures, parts manufacturers, etc.)... which is essentially what is happening here with CAT (not the bankruptcy, but the ripple effect of the slow down and mass layoffs, their effect on local manufacturers and the slowing of money flowing through this town) but that is far too close to home, and now have been unemployed for just over 6 months, I am not wanting to reflect on my professional life in Peoria.

But I will just keep this simple,
"Easily the most adorable animal abuse you've seen today"

I got you...

No, I got you... No, I got you... No, I got you... Thanks to the Smitzer family for a really nice weekend. Even with the hang over on Saturday and not getting to try the rattlesnake hot dog, the view and just relaxed nature of the trip was nice. Unemployed, and no schedule to really speak of, the trip was still a welcomed escape from Peoria. I also felt a little nostalgic in the sneaking to the bars to maintain a slight buzz, though unavoidably humped, it still kind of reminded me of trips my dad and I would take to San Francisco.

Rum, not my friend. Too sweet. Two days later, Pepsi still tastes like it has Rum in it.


And great view aside, the greatest and most endearing highlight was still... No, I got you... No, I got you... No, I got you... No, I got you...

2.26.09

Main Entry: cabin fever
Function: noun
Date: 1918

extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor area for a prolonged time.
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cabinfever


Today was a great day. It started out as a normal day, planning on doing my homework and ???
I turned on the AC since I knew it would be warm out, thus the house would heat up and that was all the planning I had mapped out since waking up at 1:something this afternoon (I worked until almost 5 am, so no, I didn't just play layabout). Today, homework be damned (though it did get done on time anyway), the phone call I got was absolutely the one I needed, "we are hanging out outside, you are more than welcome to come over".

Chatting and watching the young'un play lead to grilling veggie burgers (which I applaud myself for not overcooking them this time). By 8pm, vitamin D overdose mixed with full belly, conversation faded to lost stares into tree tops and onward to the clouds... Bliss, total contentment. Moments like these seldom happen, I had to breathe it all in. If there is absolute definition of what a perfect day is, this one had to come pretty damn close to it. Sober relaxed enjoyment. After 6 months of winter that the Midwest always "blesses" us with, today was the day needed to break that cabin fever. With the short visit to the park on Friday and then just being in it all afternoon today, I am now actually feeling renewed. In the past, I don't know if I really have ever stopped to pay attention to the day the chains of winter were broken, but today stood out. Simple and meditative... and exactly what was needed.

Spring cleaning of my head

Finally after over a month of sitting in the house's filth (no, not my filth, but the house's), I finally had to do a little something about it. The house is far from how it use to be, but better than it has been. Been pretty unmotivated really. New hope sits on the horizon. I have a job interview tomorrow, if I get the job, will be quite the commute, almost an hour to and and hour from. That can add quite the length to the day. I have not yet heard back from the job I really want here in town, guess I am not meant to be there. So, with any luck, I will at least get a job at Dick Blick. I have been off work since November 14th, 2008. It has gotten very boring and I have done nothing with myself. Some online classes, got to do some shows with the band, and just constantly bugging one family by being around them all the time. I get annoyed being with myself, I know I wear on others. Especially when I have absolutely no new life experiences to bring to the table. I have become but a mere voyeur of life.

In expectation of the job interview and with an upcoming homework assignment, I took tomorrow night off at the bar. I really hate going there, I expected to develop some sort of social outlet, but I can not relate to any one of them there, and definitely not the clientele. Such a time waste there... yes I know its to repay a debt, but that is why another great reason for the job, no more bouncing downtown. Its all jock attitude and thuggery, even in the more "respectable" bars. If its not the attitude of the people frequenting the bars, its the bartenders attitude. They all have what I call a rock star complex, bartenders have it (tattoo artists and piercers most definitely have it)... I just hate the ego and exaggerated sense of self-worth. "Just poor me a fuckin' Bushmills on the rocks, asshole". I don't dance, the bands don't play good music, I don't sing Karaoke... why do I need to be downtown? Hot chicks with superficial attitudes I can't get with any way? Meh, I am just old and jaded I suppose. I just don't feel youthful energy or an element of excitement downtown, just seems like a ghost town filled with too many ghosts, but nothing of any substance what so ever. Good music on a jukebox (not so loud I have to yell over), Bushmills, and someone or some people to have actual conversations with. Music, religion, politics, fucking... I don't care, just have something to say. I know I compared them to ghosts, but they are more like zombies, walk the same, talk the same, dress the same, same interests, same hair cuts, same dead brain disbursed to hundreds of bodies... Downtown Peoria... "But isn't that where Big Al's is"? Fuck off!

Yes, I am restless. The living room is livable the kitchen dishes are 90% done. That's all I got. Now you kids stay off my damn lawn!

4.18.09 a review

Today I felt a wee bit hung over, not too bad. The night before I was more worried about my throat over the potential headache. For the first time I did two shows in one night. A lot of fun doing it, wish I could say I was enthusiastic about the crowds. The first show was at Champs, we went on first so I didn't expect a large crowd. Champs usually has a poor turn out any way, but it was fun. A few of my brother's friends turned up, it was good. Hylee really digs the band. It is strange seeing someone so enthusiastic about the band. The second set, I didn't care for just solely because it seemed we were playing for a group of people that were either frat boys or old folks that could stand a life of not hearing anything harder than John Cougar Melloncamp. I guess the other bands liked us ok, but I never know because I don't talk with people usually after a set. It's not ego, its that I can't handle small talk and I am not to into "talking shop" or if they liked the band, I don't do compliments well. Really grateful Stefanie was there, so I didn't have to engage in small talk, I could just hang out with her and be myself. I like being myself. I know that sounds stupid saying that as everyone likes being themselves, but too many people put up false fronts, especially when playing music and such... and you know what, I am just not into that. Its also nice when she is around because she knows me and my faults, she knows I am a dork, and I am ok with that.

Two memorable highlights, the runner up was the bandanna whip. I so didn't think rolling up a sweaty bandanna would have the same whip style as a towel. It wasn't until I heard that distinct "crack" on Stefanie's thigh that I knew it did, followed by the absolute shock and horror that it did, apologizing immensely that it did happen, and laughing so hard because it was funny. So unintentional. The biggest highlight was the shirts. I couldn't let on that it was cute, adorable, and heart warming when Stefanie and Chris both show up at the start of the night with matching shirts with an image of me circa 1988.

As I went to bed with my throat stinging like hell, waking up with the mild hangover... Playing in front of non-enthusiastic minimal crowds, was still all worth it. It was a a really good night.

The after-glow is finally fading

The Cracks, with their old school and unapologetic sound and presence, Disorder33's late 80's skate rock feel (to me anyway), and then of course Off With Their Heads (OWTH), a polished street punk sound that was just all fun. Watching Ryan, the singer, spitting on Bob of the Cracks' back as his shirt got tangled on his guitar was a fun highlight, me winning 3 games in a row of 301 darts, winning a CD instead of beer, was another.

But what a night to remember. Thursday April 2nd is one of the shows that will go into memory as one of the best nights of my life. 11/17 played a show basically opening for OWTH, but the entire night was full of friends and constant smiles. This show I was not nervous before, an absolute first. Most of my friends that are in bands were either playing that show or were in attendance, old school and new friends alike. Watching the small bar and the relatively small crowd come unglued during the OWTH set.

Watching the guys from The Cracks, Ryan of Disorder33, Brian of my band and also in Nard Voris, and Tyler of Nard Voris, all who truly love that band, so full of excited joy and full of energetic support makes for an incredible night because you can not help but feel the really positive energy that had exploded all over the place. All going ape shit happy. That reminded me of the 20+ people, including myself, singing with Sick of it All at a show at the Cattle Club. I am sure their happiness mirrored every bit of ours then. It truly was a great night to observe and especially, because in a small way I was a part of it, playing earlier in the night. Tyler and Brian thank you for putting us on that bill, and more so thank you for a night that will stick with me for a very long time. What a great fucking night.


Three Nights I will always remember:
1994- Sacramento, Ca.: The Sick of it All show previously mentioned
2002- Roseville, Ca.: 11/17 opening for Agression, a band I got turned on to when I lived in Camarillo, Ca. in 1986.
2009- Peoria, Il.: The entire night of the show with Off With Their Heads

I can now say, I am really happy 11/17 is back together again. New members, but now now, with new memories! Thanks to everyone there and to everyone involved.

Oh yeah, this thing.

I have been lacking in writing lately and this blog exists only because it is just after midnight and I have too much time on my hands. When I have this ample time plus boredom, I like to type rambling blogs that are neither well thought out nor grammatically correct. These are the thoughts in the middle of the night. This is procrastination.

So begins a new "semester" at short bus college, looking into additional courses at ICC, and doing nothing but wasting time in between. I do know with my two new classes I will have to focus a little more. To say I have very poor study ethics would still be doing me justice. Hell, I could be reading now and preparing for tomorrows assignment, but am I? Nope. I am listening to jazz and allowing my rambling head to quiet through font.

I know a real job schedule would possibly assist in setting up a real study schedule. One of the things I am doing soon is I am finally canceling my cable television. Then for entertainment I have music, reading homework, and Netflix. Yes, I am trying to instill the concept of homework as entertainment into my brain. I watch little television as it is but what I do watch is pretty senseless. I mean I watch Ghost Hunters and I don't believe in ghosts. That shows I am wasting valuable time right there. Sure I will miss Anthony Bourdain, Keith Olberman, and Rachel Maddow but I could just quite possibly pick up a degree in the meantime. Hmmm, lemme weigh that out. Not really a sacrifice now is it.


On the "actual employment" front, still there is nothing. I could get a job working 8-5 for minimum wage answering phones or wait to see if a real job rolls in. Last time I did the phone thing, my punk instilled defiance reared its head. I am not a cubicle kind of guy. I gotta find something, but I have a couple more months of unemployment left (which pays just slightly less than that phone gig). I take that job and get the opportunity to interview for a real job I lose my unemployment for working, lose the job because I had to call in to the job just to go to the interview, and possibly not get the job that I interviewed for. The end result, totally fucked. And its not out of the realm of possibility as it has happened to me before. So I gotta be patient. And right now, I am past the "worried sick" phase and have flowed into the "what ever happens, happens" mode. I still sleep like shit, but at least now its sleep.

Was suppose to be downtown at this time, but I didn't really wanna be there. They already had seven or eight bouncers on staff, I was just another body. They asked if I wanted to split, and without hesitation, I was in my truck heading home. Its not a real job, its just to help pay back a debt. The owner, to whom I am indebted, said I could split, so if he's cool with that then so am I. Honestly though, I am at a weird place as far as bouncing goes anyway. I have done it for so long (off and on for well over 10 years) but I just can not get into downtown anymore. Oh yeah! I am fucking old. That and the fact that, with the exception of live original music, I tend to be a sort of a bar purist. I go to a bar to get drunk. No pool, no karaoke, just drink.

As one might perceive that this would be a blog of pissing and moaning, but its not. Just thinking. I am not in a bad place in my head really. All is quite peaceful actually, both internally and externally. I know a job will show up eventually. I just need to get my focus. Academically and professionally. Socially wouldn't be bad either. But one thing on the list at a time. Grumbles and gripes of this blog aside, I remain very optimistic. How, I have no idea... but I am. I remain a silver lining mother fucker!